August 2007

Including a picture last time drew a lot of comments, so I have put in a picture of my granddaughter and me taken last April. It seems like such a long time ago. She has two teeth now and is sitting and crawling everywhere (mostly to grab the cat food according to her Mom).

I was reminded by a friend this last month of our hike on part of the Appalachian Trail. She wondered if being in Kenya kind of felt like that trip……you want to be there but it is hard, hard work. You only make it by remembering to put one foot in front of the other whether you feel like it or not……yes, friend, living here is like hiking the Appalachian Trail. The daily effort takes it toll, and the rewards are just as sweet as that feeling of accomplishment we had when we completed our trek. At days end, there are things to celebrate even with an achy body and spirit. It is the small pleasures that sustain.

One note of celebration is that my sense of smell is coming back. I do not know if it is the African climate or if it is the result of the long term therapy I have been on for my sinuses finally kicking in. If it is, thanks Dr Merrell and Dr Winder. My sister sent me a Yankee candle air freshener for my closet and the first time I opened the door and smelled it, I almost fainted…..it was too grand for words. I can “smell the coffee” now and food I have cooked. Of course, now I can also smell the choo (outdoor bathrooms) and all the crowded sweaty bodies on the matatu….eek…I can even smell myself!

At my former company, HCR Manor Care, we show a video called Minnie to new hires. It helps remind them that our patients have names and a life history to be honored as a part of their stay in our rehab center, and how important a name can be to someone. That lesson is driven home to me everyday in Kenya. I get called a lot of different names, Patricia (pronounced Pah tree see ah), shangazi (auntie by the teenagers), the ever ugly muzungu (white person) and everyone’s favorite, Mama. Every woman of a certain age and bearing are called mama if their name is not known. I often wonder how can they spot the mamas – is it just an age thing or do they check out the expanded hips, saggy breasts and the leftover rubbery baby pouch we all carry as a part of our tummies before they call you a mama. What is in a name???? I miss being called Patty. For some reason, Patty is a difficult word for Kenyans to say so they never call me that…….some days they do not call me anything, they just ask for sweets like I carry candy around with me……....weird.

Hey, more strange news, we have rats at the factory…..no real cause for celebration on this one. They keep eating our hand soap. Once they whittle it down to a small enough size, they pick it up and carry it back to wherever they live…..they have not started eating our fabric yet, but it is only a question of time. So, our quest is to catch the ones in the factory and plug up the openings so no more can get in. A friend sent me some rat traps. She mailed them months ago and like a miracle from heaven, they arrived the same week we discovered the rats. I am always the first in the office (some habits are hard to break) and so naturally I am the one who “discovers” the catch each day. I am all girl about this. I refuse to go near the traps. It gives me the willies (whatever that is).They are glue traps so the rat is still alive…..eek!

I think I am not adapting too well to some of the cultural practices. Kenyans really do not know how to keep time. It is not unusual for people to show up to meetings one to three hours late or even not at all. Worse, people sit around and wait for everyone before they start the meeting. I have begun too lose patience for this and have taken to leaving if people have not arrived within one hour of the agreed start time. It doesn’t make them more compliant but it does keep me from sitting there and getting angry about it. The other cultural practice is the handshake. Everyone gets a handshake whether it is a group of two or thirty……I am not that friendly a person to begin with so shaking many hands just wears me out, but it is a daily occurrence here. Every employee at the factory expects a handshake when I greet them each day. Every meeting includes a big round of handshakes. All “jambos” on the walk to work come with a handshake. It is rude not to shake hands. Even if you are eating at a table, you still offer your wrist for them to touch.

Some days I feel ashamed I behave like such a wretch when people are so kind to me. The young man who keeps me supplied with water each week does so with a smile and never complains or whines about carrying 120 liters of water up to the second floor. My friends in the community feed me, entertain me and generally look after me like family. I have to remind myself that life has its little pleasures and just like in the USA, it is wrapped around relationships, not the tasks or the trials of the Kenyan lifestyle.

Oswald Chambers, a great spiritual writer and teacher, says we get caught up in the concept of God leading us to some desired goal when in reality God’s goal for us is the process. I feel like this whole 10 months has been a classroom in process for me. I learn new things about myself (most of them are things I cannot brag about) and I am learning the hard way, in whatever state I am in to be content in Him. I am not sure I have ever appreciated that as I do here.

More cause for celebration, we have 35 people at the factory now and have sent our sample line to New York hoping we can capture the attention of a very big store. Our products are selling right now in the Serena Hotel chain (owned by the Aga Khan). Their gift shop is stocking our stuff! Serena is the premier hotel of Kenya. My Weighbridge grocery store is still lagging behind. I think the treasurer might have “borrowed” the funds and that is why the meetings have not been held. The SACCO is in the process of obtaining registration and we are working on their budget and figuring out the training schedule for running one.

And, I had Christmas in July – 6 packages arrived in one day! I got stuff from friends in Georgia, Virginia, Ohio and New York. The workers at the Posta were amazed. I had to hire a tuk tuk (a small three wheeled vehicle, kind of a taxi), to haul the stuff from the Posta to the matatu staging area for Mariakani. I am ever grateful that you all continue to remember me. I was running out of reading material and between all the packages I ended up with about 10 books and other delectable items such as beef jerky, jelly beans, energy bars, peanut butter crackers and other yummy stuff; and of course, the rat traps (useful stuff!).

I ended the month sick, but am on the road to recovery. I plan to hike Mt. Kenya next week if the bronchitis is cleared up enough. Otherwise, I will just look at it and enjoy the view. Enjoy your “dog days of summer” in the US; we are nearing the end of winter. Each day gets a little hotter and the rains are almost done. I miss you all more than you can know.

July 2007

July 2007

Well, here it is July! We are in the throes of winter which means it is cool, in the 80’s and the rain has lessened somewhat. We now have showers instead of the monsoons. Although, last night it poured pretty good, but I was already tucked under my mosquito net reading a good book sent by a good friend. Good dreams and cool nights.

We have had several deaths in my immediate community of friends in Kenya. Death is heart managed so differently here. No tears allowed. It might make someone uncomfortable. But then, death is a daily occurrence here. Either someone you personally know or someone you know has someone they know who died. When you think that of the 30 million people living in Kenya today, there have been 10 million who died over the last ten years of AIDS and more still dying every day. Then, there are almost 100 children dying of malaria each day. This forces them to have a very different perspective on death. They do not talk about it or share their grief the same way we do. They seem to slip through the grief process in moments rather than weeks or months or even years as we sometimes do in America. Half the population is Muslim so there is no visitation. Muslims are buried the same day they die and then everyone gets on with life. The Christian community here plans the funeral around when relatives can get there and if the body has to transported back to their homestead in some other province. Often there is up to a two week delay before burial. There is no carrying in of meals to the bereaved family in Kenya. The family bears the burden of feeding and housing all the visitors. There could be as many as 20 or 30 people a day. It is financially burdensome and requires the family to seek donations for the process.

The harambe for burials is more like a stealth asking and giving process. Nothing is openly done. Harambes for school fees, weddings, building programs, or anything else that no one can afford are done with big meetings, sometimes refreshments and arm twisting as part of the giving. I sat through a harambe at church for the Women’s Guild. It extended the Sunday service by an hour and half and had a series of collection processes by groups. So the men of the church were asked to give, the elders of the church, the youth, the women, the choir, the Sunday School classes, the visitors, the members of the congregation; it went on and on. Of course, everyone present is a part of many of the identified groups, so you give multiple times. It was an expensive Sunday.

I have decided I am one spoiled American………I miss running water. I miss driving a car. I miss having money and stores and washing machines and choices of all kinds! My friends here really do not get it because they have never had it. When I was home, my son John got on the Internet and we did a quiz on how much of the world’s natural resources we use each day. In Kenyan I use so very little compared to when I was living in the US. I make do with 120 liters of water a week for everything, drinking, cooking, washing me and my clothes, cleaning, etc. At home in the US, I am sure I probably used that a day…….

Work is getting a little crazy. Since my site is a test site for East Africa, we are already working on scalability. In addition, we have the daily craziness of any start up operation of training, improving processes around quality and production, inventory management and, procurement process or lack thereof, etc. I get to influence but not make decisions and as you know, I like making decisions. So, the craziness is as much a personal struggle as the actual work.

The young man I am mentoring who is managing the production process at the factory has told me several times old women cannot be trained. What does that really mean? I have to remind him I am an old woman, at least by their standards. He has been reluctant to hire any trainees past the age of 30. Of course, we did anyway. And guess what, the older women are having a terrible time fitting into the schedules, learning the process and are very hesitant in everything they do. I believe it is from the lack of formal schooling and the language barriers. For many, their tribal language is the first language. Even their Kiswahili is not so good. And, they have never had to juggle work at home and a job

Mold is my new enemy. The raining season has caused mold to grow overnight on floors, walls and furniture. My address book and event calendar have been consumed by mold with little salvageable. Bleach continues to be my friendly cleaning tool, but sometimes I just have to laugh out loud at the speed and viciousness at which the natural elements conspire against me. You would think as few resources as I am using while here, they would show more kindness towards me.

I get asked many times about what foods I eat here. I do get a good assortment of vegetables like carrots, peas, onions and sometimes, string beans. Cabbage and greens are always available. I have started keeping cleaned chopped up veggies in my little refrigerator. On lazy nights, I simply add them to the Ramen noodles I buy in Mombasa. On nights I feel like cooking, I make mac and cheese (thank you my dear friends who continue to send me cheese packets), pasta primavera or something similar. . I have also started to eat eggs more frequently. I scramble them and make egg sandwiches or an omelet. The egg yolks are such a funny color here, more beige than yellow. For breakfast, I live on nutrition bars and oatmeal (again, thanks for all those instant packets of oatmeal) and lunch is usually some kind of fresh fruit and bread.

It is mango and avocado high season here. My sons have an expression for the Mexican restaurants they love. They say the burritos are as big as your head. It is an overstatement when they say it; but, it is not an overstatement here to say that about our avocados and some types of mangoes. It is high season for avocados and mangoes and they really, really are as big as your head! One avocado can easily feed 4 people and some types of mangoes can feed a large extended family. The small green skinned ones are eaten like candy – spilt and peeled back with chili pepper on them. Adults and children alike walk around the market eating them. It is a tasty, cheap treat, just a few shillings. .

I have a new secondary project to go with the many others that keep popping up. I am assisting the Lunganya Women’s Leadership Group in helping to start a savings and loan cooperative. It is similar, but not the same as a traditional micro-finance. It will be more affordable in terms of membership and amount of savings and shares a person or group must hold. We hope to have it up and running by the end of the year. Funding for start up has been secured through USAID via Family Health International. The SACCO will target at risk woman and eventually will be open to community. Its’ first members will be the over 400 women who make up the smaller merry go rounds that comprise the Lunganya Women’s Group.

So, I continue to keep busy. This is a good thing or my spoiled American persona would cause me more havoc than it already does. I am hoping to get a visit back home sometime late this year. I need approval from the Peace Corps, from FHI and from my son (if I can afford another visit or not!). All business in Kenya literally shuts down from December 15th through the first of the year. Even the schools close from the last week in November until the middle of January. So, there is not much that will be happening around here. And, the lives of my family keep pushing on so I really need to catch up with them.

Thanks again to all those who continue to support me through their prayers, packages, phone calls and emails. You brighten my life here more than you can ever know.

June 2007

May was a month full of smiles, frowns and tears. Our opening ceremony was cancelled. It was a big disappoint to the team and the community. The Ambassador and the two Kenyan Ministers could not attend since President Kabaki cancelled all public ceremonies as part of the national day of mourning for the victims of the Kenya Airways crash. So, we cancelled everything except the actual opening! We are three weeks into being up and operational and we have 23 women and older youth (18 -24) in training. It was smiles for the 23. I also frowned with disappointment because 3 of our trainees have already been eliminated – one for lack of a national ID card and two for being no shows. One never came and one came two days late…..

While I am back to my Kiswahili lessons, I am still not fluent enough to carry an 8 hour training session on my own. So, I hired my tutor as a translator for the work/life skills training I did with our trainees. She knows my American accent better than anyone else. The women are also forcing me to use my Kiswahili so I am smiling about that! The work/life skill training is very important for our trainees. Something as simple as coming to work every day and on time is a frequent challenge. Showing initiative and keeping focused on work is a continual struggle. The culture is such here, one woman wanted to know if she had time to go home 3 times a day and check on her family…….I frowned…….and then just had to laugh.

Speaking of family, I must give my thanks to my daughter-in-law, Darah. She not only helped me to pick out a very good pair of hiking sandals that have kept me from slip sliding away in all the mud around here, but she has kept a running blog on my grand-daughter’s weekly adventures for me. It is my best smile of the week when I get out on the web and discover an update. The words and pictures do not need translating. Gus’ smile says it all.

I am not smiling at the mud (I am just plain tired of it). My toes and feet may never come clean again. It is a good thing the sandals can be soaked in soapy water and cleaned many times during the week. And, they dry out very fast. I did smile when I walked to church in the rain one Sunday morning and found out no one else was brave or foolish enough to go out in the downpour to come to church……just me, the preacher and the song leader……we had a good laugh, a short prayer and then even we went home.

I am definitely not smiling about the indoor water situation (which is to say, I still do not have any). I was not smiling in my 3 encounters with the water department and may have to adjust my thinking to never having running water while I am here. Now, that’s a frown.

I do smile when I think about God’s plan for all this rain and the very short dry periods where the good people can go out and actually dig up their gardens and get them planted before the next torrent comes. How the seeds stay in place or how they do not rot is beyond me, but God knows. I see evidence of growing maize and beans everywhere. God’s plan for sowing and growing are definitely at work here in more ways than one.

I am not smiling at the US government who has audited my returns for 2005 but I am smiling because I do not have to deal with it. My son, Mike, has gotten stuck with sorting out the issues with a little help from his brother, Aaron. So the burden and headaches rest with them. I have had to adopt the attitude, what will be will be. God is trying to grow my ability to let go and let others pick up the slack and grow themselves in the process. Who would have thought that letting go was possible for me!

I am not smiling at my Weighbridge women’s project. They are still not operational because they cannot decide who should be hired as the two employees. They have saved their share of costs for start up and got the donated space we were praying about. It is an excellent location and I smiled the day we drew up the memorandum of understanding with the NGO who has control of the property. It is very disappointing (see Patty frown) to have the project slow down to a virtual stop while they try and agree on their next steps. Of course, they have also been distracted by planting the community garden, so I have had to lighten up a little about the whole thing. I am guessing this is another “sowing” on God’s part in my life but I am not feeling the growth…….

I had good smiling time with the geckos this month as I watched three of them play follow the leader across my walls and ceilings. I think it was a mommy gecko and two babies. The larger one took a few steps and the other two would take a few steps. It looked like a game they were playing. It went on for at least a half hour with the small ones copying momma’s moves and then waiting until she moved again. I was smiling as I watched them crawl along the ceiling and down walls, but not smiling when they got too close to me. Of course, any movement on my part scares them so badly they scurry away or freeze where they are with the hope they are invisible. I did get startled by an albino gecko about 4 inches long at my front door one morning. The gecko was very white, pinkish and appeared translucent. I wasn’t smiling then.

I did smile very big when I got malted milk balls and a puzzle from a friend back home. And I really smiled when another Peace Corps Volunteer came and helped me set up QuickBooks for the little factory. The PCV is a CPA and a retiree, like me. We had a good week together and I learned a lot about accounting I hope to be able to forget one day! But it was fun having company and sharing meal preparation and small talk in the evening.

I got lots of smiles when I made my mother-in-laws’ holiday fruit salad for one of the merry go round meetings. We did not have grapes or apples for it, but I had lots of other fruit; mangos, pineapple, bananas, avocado and even some walnuts from the Nakumatt! I made the pudding for it. Next meeting I have promised to try baking chocolate chip cookies for them if Damaris’ oven actually works. She is one of the members who has a chicken farm. She has about 100 chicks and chickens in some stage of development at all times. She has had the oven for a couple of years and has never turned it on.

Most days this month I have had times to smile, frown and even cry. This has been a very emotional month for me for a lot of reasons I still cannot even talk about. Kenyans do not like to see anyone cry. A couple of times this month I was just so sad, I could not help myself from crying right at work. The trainees were very uncomfortable and pretended not to see me. One of my devotionals for the month of May said that moods don’t change by praying about them, they change by kicking them out; making a choice to act better than we feel. I knew that, but it was a meaningful reminder. Another one was about being carefully careless with the things of this life. I like that expression, carefully careless. People and things come and go and our rock through it all is God’s love for us. I have needed those messages this month. Keep me and my family in your prayers. I am sure they are doing some crying of their own and yet I know there must be some laughter and smiles, even in our grief.